Family Matters

To the Reader: I am writing this article from my own personnel experience of marriage. And during these years so far, I learned a few things along the way. This would include not only from what other couples have to say, but that which I leaned from medical studies as well. And of course, we have the bible itself which is our main source for learning. So, that all being said, I would like to share with you my views of what I have learned as well. So, please read with an open mind, always seeking what God’s word has to says in all things. Therefore: “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV)

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4 EMTV)

So, isn’t this passage above declaring that marriage is good and that sexual intimacy shouldn’t be viewed as dirty, defiling or unholy? So then, we who are married should embrace our union as an institution that God has created. Therefore, let’s bring him glory and honor by embracing each other whether in good times or bad, in sickness or in health, until death do us part. Amen.

Now, when it came down to marriage, we must first stand on what God has to say about it. For we first read: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 NASB20)

So, we clearly see above that it says a man shall “be joined to his wife.” Then further down we read: “God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28 NASB20) Therefore, any marriage relationship other than what was mentioned above would be a sinful one which God has not joined together. This would include not only homosexual relationships, but those who are having casual sex outside of marriage or are committing adultery as well.

“But if you hate her and send her away,” says the Lord God of Israel, “ungodliness will obscure your thinking,” says the Lord Almighty. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not forsake her.” (Malachi 2:16 OSB)

Now, marriage is meant to be for a lifetime according to God’s word. However, we can see so many marriages breaking up for one reason or another. And why is that? Are we believing the lies of Satan that says “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence?” For those who believe this will most likely never be happy with any relationship they’re in. And yes, there may be some lumps and bumps along the way for all of us who are married. For even Paul the apostle said: “But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” (1 Corinthians 7:28 NIV)

Yes, there can be some trying times during any marriage relationship. However, by walking after the Holy Spirit and resisting the lies of the devil, couples can make it through even the most difficult of times. For it’s true that: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 ESV) And finally, let’s take heed to what Jesus said to the Pharisees we he was confronted by them. For he said: “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

So, they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6 ESV)

So, we see that Jesus made it clear that marriage is to be for a lifetime. Therefore, “love the one you’re with” and resist the lies that say otherwise. Amen.

“Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” (Proverbs 5:15-19 ESV)

In that passage above, we can see that the marriage should be a delightful union. For God created marriage and wants us not only to express our love to one another through it, but to richly enjoy it as well. Now, those of us who are married should know that the sexual act between a man and a woman can bring about the most intense physical pleasure. And it’s for a good reason. For it’s one of those pleasures of life that brings forth new life into this world. So, that being the case, doesn’t it make sense that God would make it intensely pleasurable? And let’s also remember that we ourselves are here because our parents had a sexual encounter as well.

Below are a few scriptures taken from Song of Songs showing a couple's desire for each other:

• The man speaks: “As a lily among thorns, So is my love among the daughters. (Song of Songs 2:2 ASV)
• The woman speaks: “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He has brought me to his banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.” (Song of Songs 2:2-4 NASB20)
• The man speaks: “A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse, a spring shut up, a fountain sealed. Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with pleasant fruits, fragrant henna with spikenard, spikenard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, With all trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices - A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.” (Song of Songs 4:12-15 NKJV)
• The woman speaks: “Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16 KJV)
• The man speaks: “I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved.” (Song of Songs 5:1 KJV)
• The woman speaks: “My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.” (Song of Songs 5:10-15 KJV)
• The man speaks: “How fair and how pleasant you are, O love, with your delights! This stature of yours is like a palm tree, And your breasts like its clusters. I said, “I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of its branches.” Let now your breasts be like clusters of the vine, The fragrance of your breath like apples, And the roof of your mouth like the best wine.” (Song of Songs 7:6-9 NKJV) Please note: To this day there a those who help get the pollination process going by climbing up the date palms trees. For there is both a male tree as well as a female tree. Thus, by taking a portion of the male pollen, they can dust the female palm tree with it. So, couldn’t this be referring to a man engaging his wife in sex?

“All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things build up.” (1 Corinthians 10:23 LSB)

Now, from what I gather form the bible, I believe what couple’s do behind closed doors should not be judge by others. For it may be true that we’re not at the same level of faith when it comes to sexual intimacy. For some couples may limit themselves to the simple basics of sex while others faith may allow them to have more freedom in the marriage bed. In either case, we need to be careful not to put a stumbling block nor a guilt trip on others.

Therefore, those who limit themselves to the simple basics shouldn’t condemn those who do otherwise. And in the same way, those who have more freedom shouldn’t criticize or look down on those who don’t. For we need to take heed to what God’s word says and leave all judgment up to God. For it’s before Him that we stand or fall. And according to God’s word, he will make us stand. So, wherever your faith may allow you to go, give glory and thanks to God. For we should do everything in a way that honors Him. Amen.

• Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions. ... Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. ... Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this - not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way. I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. ... The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. (Romans 14:1, 4, 13-14, 22 NASB95)

“Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 NLT)

Now, because of Adam and Eve’s sin, troubles came into the lives of us all. And some of these issues can include couples struggling with sexual infirmities. Therefore, they would have to come up with ways to make things work out for them on the marriage bed. And as said before, I’m convinced that whatever happens in the bedroom shouldn’t be judged by others. For God knows all of our struggles and issues. For as said before: “All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things build up.” (1 Corinthians 10:23 LSB) Yes, all things that are beneficial may be lawful if it’s not restricted in God’s word. But again, only go where your faith will allow you to go.

Now, for those who are struggling with conceiving a child, don’t give up hope. For let’s remember that Abraham and his wife Sarah, as well as Zachariah and his wife Elizabeth still engaging in sex even in their old age. (Genesis 21:1-2, Luke 1:24 KJV) And we know from the bible that both these couples were finally blessed with a child. And for those couples who may never be able to bring forth a child of their own, there’s always the option to adopt. So, whatever your outcome or age may be, don’t stop enjoying sex with your spouse. For God will always make a way for us, no matter what difficulties we may be facing. We just need to have faith.

I would like to point out that there are health benefits for both men and women who remain sexually active. For science studies have shown that semen may help enhance a woman’s mood. Also, there are studies that say it could help provide a safer pregnancy as well. And for those men who are sexually active, studies have shown that it could help fight-off prostate cancer as well. So: “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV)

So then, whether you’re young newlyweds or well advanced in years, let’s keep sexually active throughout our lives. Just make sure you’re doing it with a right frame of mind and in a way that is pleasing not only to one another, but pleasing to God our Father as well.

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4-5 KJV)

Now, there are studies showing that a woman could receive a man’s DNA during sex. They also mention that the components of a man’s semen being detected within her blood stream after a few hours of her receiving it. That would make the words of Jesus above not just some metaphor but an actual fact. Also, studies have shown that semen could help lessen the chances of a woman having a miscarriage. Therefore, we need to do our homework and be diligent, not only by studying God’s word, but to do some research on what science and medical studies have to say as well.

Below are some of those studies mentioned above. (Note: I do realize that a few of these articles may not be embraced by everyone. However, I’m just showing what medical science has to say concerning sex. So again, only go where your conscience allows you to go. And again, let’s not judge those who have more freedom on what happens on in the marriage bed):

• Mood Enhancer
• Women receive and retain male DNA through sex - Article
• Women receive and retain a man's DNA through sex - Video
• Sex for a safer pregnancy - Article 1
• Sex for a safer pregnancy - Article 2
• Ejaculation Frequency for a healthy prostate

As mentioned at the beginning, the marriage relationship should be one that consists of love and pleasure for both the man and woman. This would be true for both the rich or poor. Therefore: “Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.” (1 Timothy 6:17 NKJV)

Now, that all being said, we shouldn’t be so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget that there is a world full of people who desperately needs Jesus. For Paul reminds us of this by saying: “But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.” (1 Corinthians 7:29-31 NKJV) Yes, there is a world of people out there who need to be saved. So, enjoy your marriage relationship but don’t forget to: “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” (Mark 16:15 NASB20) Amen.

Abbreviated bible versions used in this article are shown more clearly below. This I did to help you in your study of God’s word.

• NKJV = New King James Version
• NASB20 = New American Standard Bible, 2020 edition
• NASB95 = New American Standard Bible, 1995 edition
• ESV = English Standard Version
• LSB = Legacy Standard Bible
• NLT = New Living Translation
• OSB = Orthodox Study Bible
• EMTV = English Majority Text Version
• KJV = King James Versi
• NIV = New International Version 

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"Then God said, “Let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the livestock and over all the earth, and over every crawling thing that crawls on the earth.” So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." (Genesis 1:26-27 NASB20)

From the creation account above, we can see that both the man and the woman were made in the image and likeness of God himself. Also, we can see that God gave them authority over every living thing. Now, I also believe that there was unity and harmony between both the man and the woman as well. “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:9, 25 KJV) But most of all, it was that beautiful relationship that man had with God. For Adam and Eve were not yet tainted by the evil desires of sin.

• And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground the LORD God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. (Genesis 2:8-9 ESV)
• Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” And out of the ground the LORD God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the livestock, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “At last this is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called ‘woman,’ Because she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:18-25 NASB20)

“But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:3-5 KJV)

According to that passage above, we see that Eve gave into a deceitful temptation. For instead of listing to God’s instructions, she fell for Satan’s lie. And unfortunately, Adam listened to his wife and fell into sin as well. And what was the outcome? Well, first God said: “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Genesis 3:16 KJV) So, we see that there is going to be some hardship for the woman who conceives.

Now, some rightfully teach that the words “thy desire shall be to thy husband” is not referring to a sexual desire but a desire for Eve to control her husband. We see this happening in another version where we read: “To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.” (Genesis 3:16 NET) We do see this also in chapter 4 of Genesis where God confronts Cain saying: “Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why is your expression downcast? Is it not true that if you do what is right, you will be fine? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. It desires to dominate you, but you must subdue it.” (Genesis 4:6-7 NET)

So again, this can be a desire to have ones will and way over another? For Adam and Eve were commanded before the fall to be “fruitful and multiply.” So, both Adam and Eve already and sexual desires for each other. And let’s take heed to what Paul the apostle said to Timathy: “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” (1 Timothy 2:11-14 ESV)

Below are some Commentary References concerning what was mentioned above:

• “Your desire shall be for your husband.” Now let’s talk about the word “desire.” What does it mean? It’s an interesting word; it comes from an Arabic root and I have continued to survey this passage because it’s been a passage of some controversy. But it is of Arabic root meaning to seek control. Literally it could read, “You shall seek control over your husband...you will desire to exert your will,” that is a sign of the curse, “you will desire to take charge, to be in control, to master.” And that desire shows up in various women in various ways. In some of them it’s a quiet, silent desire that smolders, with others it is a shouting desire that isn’t much of a secret to anybody. And the more godless women are, very often the more hostile they are toward men. Sometimes that hostility takes the attitude of coldness, indifference, apathy. Because she can’t achieve what she wants, she eventually becomes totally indifferent and apathetic toward the man. But there is this desire, this seeking to have one’s own way, to get control. That’s why there have been through history always Feminist Movements, always. Even in the time of the Apostle Paul. I read some fascinating things about the time of the Apostle Paul. There was a liberation of women movement going on in the world of the Apostle Paul. Women were shaving their heads and going around bare chested with spears in their hands and trying to prove that they can do everything men did. There has always been that kind of movement in history because it’s reflective of this curse. The man has to deal with the fact that his wife wants to control him. By John Macarthur, Grace to You (gty.org)
• Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you: The idea is to contrast the woman’s desire and the husband’s rule over her. This speaks of an inherent challenge in embracing the husband’s role as leader of the home and family. This same word for desire is used in Genesis 4:7 of the desire of sin to master over Cain. Because of the curse, Eve would have to fight a desire to master her husband, a desire that works against God’s ordained order for the home. The principle of Adam’s headship as a husband was established before the fall (see Genesis 2:18 and 2:22). Now the curse on Eve makes it much harder for her to submit and flow with God’s institution of male headship in the home. By David Guzik, Enduring Word - Free Bible Commentary from Pastor David Guzik
• If man had not sinned, he would always have ruled with wisdom and love; and, if the woman had not sinned, she would always have obeyed with humility and meekness; and then the dominion would have been no grievance: but our own sin and folly make our yoke heavy. If Eve had not eaten forbidden fruit herself, and tempted her husband to eat it, she would never have complained of her subjection; therefore it ought never to be complained of, though harsh; but sin must be complained of, that made it so. Those wives who not only despise and disobey their husbands, but domineer over them, do not consider that they not only violate a divine law, but thwart a divine sentence. By Matthew Henry, Who is Matthew Henry? | Matthew Henry | Learn to Pray the Bible

Now, to Adam he said, “Because you obeyed your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ cursed is the ground thanks to you; in painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.” (Genesis 3:16-17 NET) So, there is no longer a simple tending of the garden. For now, we are to work harder for our daily bread. So sad but true.

So, brothers and sister in Christ, let’s be diligent to stand on the truth of God’s Word. For we shouldn’t try to water it down with our own theology or feelings. Because there seems to be this urge to twist or bend scripture in such a way that it would be appealing to all. (2 Peter 3:15-16) And why is this? Could it be because we’re so afraid of offending others? And It’s no wonder why we have such disorder in the church today as well as in our homes? Therefore, it’s time that we stand up for the truth of God’s Word and take our rightful places in life. This should be true for both the man and the woman and their children as well. Because for us to do otherwise would be a total disobedience to God’s divine commandment. Amen.

Below are a few passages concerning the roles of the man and woman:

• But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:3 NASB20)
• Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV)
• A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a wrongdoer. (1 Timothy 2:11-14 NASB20)
• Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. (1 Peter 3:1-6 NKJV)
• Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 NKJV)

“But take heed to your spirit, and do not forsake the wife of your youth. “But if you hate her and send her away,” says the Lord God of Israel, “ungodliness will obscure your thinking,” says the Lord Almighty. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not forsake her.” (Malachi 2:15-16 OSB)

It is obvious from this scripture above that God hates divorce. We can see this to be true as well in Matthew’s gospel which reads: “And I say to you, whoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is put away commit’s adultery.” (Matthew 19:9 MKJV) So, if a man puts away his faithful wife, it would not only show a lack of honor for her, but it could put her in danger of committing adultery as well. And let’s take note to what Peter said to those of us who are husbands: “You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7 WEBA) So, just because the man has a God given authority over his wife, he shouldn’t look down upon her nor treated as inferior.

Now in Proverbs, it says: “An excellent wife, who can find her? For her worth is far above jewels.” (Proverbs 31:10 NASB20). Yes, a fine wife is priceless and worth much. We see this also to be true where we read: “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22 CSB) So, a woman is to be honored and loved by her husband. For she is someone that is precious and just as important in the eyes of God as any man. “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. ... Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:28-29, 33 NKJV)

“But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8 CSB)

We read earlier that the man is to be the head over his wife and children. Therefore, they are be in subjection unto him in all things as the bible teaches. So then, a man should also be the main provider for his household as well according to that passage above. For he must do all he can to make sure that his family has food and a shelter over their heads. And of course, the wife plays an important part in this as well by preparing the daily meals and to make sure that her children are properly clothed. However, the man must make sure that these things for his family are met. In fact, for him to neglect these things would only cause him to be worse than an unbeliever according to what was said above. And let’s also remember that Gods word condemns laziness and anyone who is a slacker. For, “The one who is slack in his work is a brother to one who destroys.” (Proverbs 18:9 NET)

Now, I don’t believe that God is condemning those men who are struggling to make ends meet. For things do happen at times that are outside of one’s control. But that being said, God will help meet their needs if they truly trust and rely on him. So, for all you men out there, do your best to love your wives according to scripture and teach your children truth. This you must do without being harsh or provoking them to anger. For God’s word says: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 ESV)

Now, this might be controversial to some of you woman out there, but there are roles that should be done only by men. This would include the military as well as the police force. I say this because in the bible we read that all military and policing actions were performed by men only. For we read: “Take a census of all the congregation of the people of Israel, by clans, by fathers' houses, according to the number of names, every male, head by head. From twenty years old and upward, all in Israel who are able to go to war, you and Aaron shall list them, company by company. ... So all those listed of the people of Israel, by their fathers’ houses, from twenty years old and upward, every man able to go to war in Israel - all those listed were 603,550.” (Numbers 1:2-3, 45-46 ESV)

So, let’s put away this “gender equality” nonsense and stand on God’s word instead. For there are some women who want to venture into those roles that should only be done by qualified men. For it seems that some (for one reason or another) want to prove that they can do everything a man can do. But that’s not true. For there are even some men (such as I myself) who may not be qualified to be firemen, policemen or to fight on the front lines of battle. This can be due to one’s size, personality, or even health conditions.

• Then the officers shall speak to the people, saying, ‘Is there any man who has built a new house and has not dedicated it? Let him go back to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man dedicate it. And is there any man who has planted a vineyard and has not enjoyed its fruit? Let him go back to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man enjoy its fruit. And is there any man who has betrothed a wife and has not taken her? Let him go back to his house, lest he die in the battle and another man take her.’ And the officers shall speak further to the people, and say, ‘Is there any man who is fearful and fainthearted? Let him go back to his house, lest he make the heart of his fellows melt like his own.’” (Deuteronomy 20:5-8 ESV)

“Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited.” (Titus 2:3-5 NET)

According to the scripture above, older women should be passing on to the younger women the important role of being keepers of the home. However, we see the opposite happening in our generation today. For young women are being shipped off to pursue a degree in some collage. Then, when these same women do marry and become mothers, they end up sending their young children off to some daycare so that they can continue working their career jobs. All this is not consistent with God’s word. For a women’s main priority is to be at home raising and instilling Godly values to their young children.

Unfortunately, this is all part of the fall of mankind. For there are those women who feel the need to be part of the workforce outside the home. But the truth of it is, a woman’s role in the home is more vital and important that anything she can pursue outside it. For she has the God given role to: “Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 NET) So ladies, what job can be more important than raising your children and taking care of the home? Therefore, fulfill your role as a woman which is a blessing from God. For anything else would be in defiance to God’s word.

Now, I don’t believe that being “keepers at home” means that a woman must only stay within the confines of their house at all times. For there are those families that own their own businesses in which the whole family can be part of. This also would be a great way for their children can hang out and watch their parents in action. This way they can learn from a very early age how to be fruitful and productive in life. And there are also those women who may choose to be single or haven’t married yet. These same women can get involved in jobs within their community. But again, this would all depend on their situation at home. For if a young single woman is needed to help their mother at home, she should forsake whatever job she’s doing and attended to their family first.

That all being said, I do realize that our current system has made it hard for couples to make it financially with only one person working outside of the home. Unfortunately, we have brought this upon ourselves because of greed. A get rich and let’s retire early mentality can bring a family and nation to ruin. However, according to that passage in Titus above, a woman’s first priority is always to be there for her children as well as for her husband. Therefore, let’s always put God’s word above our own desires.

Please note: Back in the day, children were included within the work force. This groomed them to be productive citizens who will become fruitful in our society. However, our corrupt government system has changed all that. For they believe that all child labor is wrong. For they think they know better than God when it comes down to raising children.

“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” (1 Timothy 2:11-14 ESV)

According to that passage above, it is very clear that the leadership positions in a church should only be held by men. For this is true not only as quoted above, but also where we read: “Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.” (1 Corinthians 14:34-35 NKJV)

Now, if we look at the Old Testament, we can see that all the priestly positions were held only by men. For we read: “Now take Aaron your brother, and his sons with him, from among the children of Israel, that he may minister to Me as priest, Aaron and Aaron's sons: Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar.” (Exodus 28:1 NKJV) Likewise, if we look at the New Testament Church, we can see that all twelve of the apostles were men whom Jesus personally chose. So, if Jesus wanted to have women in leadership positions in the New Testament church, wouldn’t he at least have chosen one woman, perhaps maybe Mary Magdalene. But it is clear from Paul’s letters that no woman should take on any form of leadership position within the church assembly.

Now, some of you may be thinking about Deborah, who was: “a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time. And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment.” (Judges 4:4-5 KJV) So, while it is true that she was holding this positions, this still wouldn’t qualify her to be a priest or a religious teacher. Prophets speak as God gives them utterance and Judges administer justice. But that doesn’t give them license to take on roles which were not assigned to them. “For every high priest taken from among men is appointed in matters pertaining to God for the people, to offer both gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he is also clothed with weakness.” (Hebrews 5:1-2 CSB)

And let’s remember that even King Saul, who was an anointed King in Israel, got into trouble for taking on the duties of a Priest. “Samuel said to Saul, “You have acted foolishly; you have not kept the commandment of the LORD your God, which He commanded you, for now the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. “But now your kingdom shall not endure. The LORD has sought out for Himself a man after His own heart, and the LORD has appointed him as ruler over His people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you”.” (1 Samuel 13:13-14 NASB95)” (1 Samuel 13:13-14 KJV) So, even though Saul was King over Israel, he still had no authority to take on the role of a priest, thus he was removed from being the King.

“The deaconesses too must be serious, not gossips; they must be temperate and perfectly trustworthy.” (1 Timothy 3:11 Williams)

Now, the bible does teach that women can take part within the church as prophets and deacons. For we already read above concerning Debora who was a prophetess in the Old Testament. So likewise, woman can be deacons (deaconess) as well. For in the bible, we read: “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deaconess of the church at Cen'chre-ae, that you may receive her in the Lord as befits the saints, and help her in whatever she may require from you, for she has been a helper of many and of myself as well.” (Romans 16:1-2 RSV)

Now it must be understood that this word deacon (and Deaconesses) does not mean a church leader or teacher but one who serves in the church. For in Acts 6:3, we read that Stephen was appointed as a deacon in the church to serve the people. And let’s take not to what the book of Acts says:“ And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams: And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy.” (Acts 2:17-18 KJV) So, we read that both men and women can be prophets with the church.

Now, let me make myself clear. I’m not saying that a woman can’t share and quote bible passages to others. For we all should be doing that whether we’re a man, woman or child. But when it comes down to church leaders such as Pastors, Elders, Bishops and Priests; this should only be held by men. So again, let’s make sure we’re following God’s role for our life instead of our own. For we need to study His word and follow His plan. And in so doing, we will surely be blessed. Amen.

Commentary Reference:

• Paul the apostle restricts women from serving as teaching and/or having spiritual authority over men. This precludes women from serving as pastors over men and women, which definitely includes preaching to them, teaching them publicly, and exercising spiritual authority over them.....Did Priscilla and her husband teach the gospel of Jesus Christ to Apollos? Yes, in their home they “explained to him the way of God more adequately” (Acts 18:26). Does the Bible ever say that Priscilla pastured a church or taught publicly or became the spiritual leader of a congregation of saints? No. As far as we know, Priscilla was not involved in ministry activity in contradiction to (1 Timothy 2:11–14). In Romans 16:1, Phoebe is called a “deacon” (or “servant”) in the church and is highly commended by Paul. But, as with Priscilla, there is nothing in Scripture to indicate that Phoebe was a pastor or a teacher of men or even of women in the church. “Able to teach” is given as a qualification for elders, but not for deacons (1 Timothy 3:1–13; Titus 1:6–9). The structure of 1 Timothy 2:11–14 makes the reason why women cannot be pastors perfectly clear. Verse 13 begins with “for,” giving the “cause” of Paul's statement in verses 11–12. Why should women not teach or have authority over men? Because “Adam was created first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived” (verses 13–14). God created Adam first and then created Eve to be a “helper” for Adam. The order of creation has universal application in the family (Ephesians 5:22–33) and in the church. Many women excel in gifts of hospitality, mercy, teaching, evangelism, and helps. Much of the ministry of the local church depends on women deacons. Women in the church are not restricted from public praying or prophesying (1 Corinthians 11:5), only from having spiritual teaching authority over men and women within the confines of a church. The Bible nowhere restricts women from exercising the gifts of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12). Women, just as much as men, are called to minister to others, to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23), and to proclaim the gospel to the lost (Matthew 28:18–20; Acts 1Y8; 1 Peter 3:15). God has ordained that only men are to serve in positions of spiritual teaching authority in the church...... Men are to set the example in spiritual leadership—in their lives and through their words. Women are to take a less authoritative role. Women are encouraged to teach younger women their roles in life (Titus 2:3–5). The Bible also does not restrict women from teaching children. The only activity women are restricted from is teaching or having spiritual authority over men. This precludes women from serving as pastors to men. This does not make women less important, by any means, but rather gives them a ministry focus more in agreement with Godʼs plan and His gifting of them. - Two Views on Women in Ministry, Revised by James R. Beck, ed. and Logos Bible Software. (Gotquestions.org)

Bible versions that are abbreviated in this article are shown in their full contexts below. This was done to aid you in your study of God's word.

• KJV = King James Version
• ESV = English Standard Version
• CSB = Christian Standard Bible
• NET = New English Translation
• NKJV = New King James Version
• NASB20 = New American Standard Bible, 2020 edition
• WEBA = World English Bible, with Apocrypha
• RSV = Revised Standard Version
• NIV = NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION
• OSB = The Orthodox Study Bible
• MKJV = Majority King James Version

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To the Reader: It would like to remind you my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ of what God’s word says concerning raising children. For we are to teach them straight from the womb to know God and to be respectable citizens. That’s because the first few years of a child’s life are the most important days for their development. Therefore, whether you’re a parent, grandparent, older sibling, babysitter, teacher, or one who can say a few words of wisdom, we should always: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 KJV) God help us all to do just that. Amen.

“Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered. In the same way, encourage the young men to be self-controlled in everything. Make yourself an example of good works with integrity and dignity in your teaching. Your message is to be sound beyond reproach, so that any opponent will be ashamed, because he doesn't have anything bad to say about us.” (Titus 2:2-8 CSB)

According to that passage above, we as Christians should not only walk in a way that pleases our Lord, but to teaching the next generation God’s truths as well. For we should be educating them to be fruitful and productive individuals. Young boys at a very early age should be taught what it is to be a man. They should be nurtured and guided for a future career that will help them be able to support a family as well as be beneficial to our society. Likewise, young girls should be taught and trained on how to be a godly woman who will someday marry and raise a family. But most of all, we adults should be teaching our children on what it takes to be a Christians. Therefore, we need to cover them in prayers as well. For there is an evil and deceitful world out there that’s ready to corrupt their innocent minds. And unfortunately, we see this corruption happening in our world today.

“Listen, Israel! The LORD our God is the only true God! So love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul, and strength. Memorize his laws and tell them to your children over and over again. Talk about them all the time, whether you’re at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night, or getting up in the morning. Write down copies and tie them to your wrists and foreheads to help you obey them. Write these laws on the door frames of your homes and on your town gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 CEV)

So, fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, are you following God’s plan above? Or are you one of those worldly parents who allows your kids (and maybe even you yourself) to be caught up in mindless video games and action movies? And isn’t it true that these things are putting nonsense and violence into your kid’s heads. And then we wonder why our youth are numb to violence and lawlessness. Also, there are those silly cartoon kids shows, Disney movies, and foolish games that they’re being entertained with. Parents as well as our society are teaching and training children to be a bunch of goofballs instead of nurturing them to be productive citizens.

Now, because of all this nonsense, we can see that our world is starting to reflect what’s being taught them. And yes, let’s not forget about the Smart Phone addiction that’s captivating not only our youth, but adults as well. And if that’s not bad enough, we now have a society that’s not only confused over their own gender but are brainwashing their children to be confused over theirs as well. And what’s even more disturbing is seeing those in the medical filed performing gender changing surgery on both the young and old. This is happening because of those who lost all sense of reality. And they lost all sense of reality because they don’t have a relationship with the true and living God.

Below is a website concerning child development in their early years:

• https://www.firstthingsfirst.org/early-childhood-matters/brain-development/

Now, let’s consider the child Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (whom we know as Mozart). He, even at the age of four, not only knew how to play different instruments, such as the piano and the violin, but he also composed his first piano concerto. Leopold Mozart, who was his father and teacher, looked at the ink blots put down on paper by the unskilled hand of his child with disbelief, realizing that all notes were correctly arranged following contemporary musical rules. From this time on he also taught his son the art of composing: Wolfgang played the melodies on the piano and his father put the notes down on paper. Wolfgang also himself enjoyed singing, a passion that would be his companion for the rest of his life.

So, I don't think this child was fed a bunch of nonsense like most kids get today. For instead, I believe that he was trained in the “way he should go.” And we can see this to be true with other musicians such as Johann Sebastian Bach and George Frederic Handel as well. All these men were not only musicians at a young age but were involved with the church of their day as well. Therefore, fellow Christians, let’s stop raising our children on worldly nonsense. For we need to raise them as productive citizens who will bear much fruit in their life. For each child is gifted in one form or another. So then, it your job as a parent to watch your child and recognize those gifts they possess.

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15 KJV)

Now, we come to the important subject of disciplining our children. For it seems our society today thinks it knows better than God on how to correct children. For His word tells us not to spare the rod of correction. So then by applying it, you’re actually showing more love than you would if you withheld it. But unfortunately, in some parts of the world (such as the United States) you can get into big trouble if you spank your child these days. That’s because some government systems think they know better than God. But the truth is, all of us were born sinners. Therefore, we need to discipline our children when they get out of hand.

Below are a few more scriptures from the Bible that speak on correction:

• “The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.” (Proverbs 13:24 CSB)
• “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (Proverbs 29:15 ESV)

Below is an article touching on the nonsense of the United States justice system:

• ·According to Fox News Latino – In Corpus Christi Texas, A mom was sentenced to probation and has lost custody of her children for spanking her daughter. The article said: Rosalina Gonzales of Corpus Christi pleaded guilty on Wednesday to injury to a child for swatting the 2-year-old on her buttocks. According to prosecutors, Gonzales in December hit the girl with an open hand, leaving red marks. Police arrested Gonzales after the child’s grandmother reported the injuries and took the child to a hospital. Gonzales will serve five yearsʼprobation, take parenting classes and follow guidelines laid out by Child Protective Services. KZTV10.com reports that the ruling judge in the case make it clear that spanking is a crime. “You donʼt spank children today.” Judge Jose Longoria is quoted as having said. “In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was different quarrel. You donʼt spank children.” Published June 21, 2011 / Fox News Latino.

Now, there is one last thing I want to touch on, and that is sex education. For I believe that all parents should teach them the do’s and don’ts of sex before they learn it the hard way. This would include the roles of marriage and why it’s important to refrain from sex until marriage? So, by hiding or refusing to talk to them about it, you could make it appear as though sex is dirty or wrong. For we know that God is the one who ordain sex in the first place, telling us to be fruitful and multiply. So, we shouldn’t make it so difficult to educate them in this very important part of life. Because let’s face it, they’re going to find out about sex one way or another. So, wouldn’t it be best that you teach them while they’re still young?

Now, I want to make one thing clear. I'm in no way suggesting that you have an open-door policy and let your children peek in on you while you’re in the act. For it’s true that you could end up in jail and have your children taken from you as well. However, you shouldn’t panic if a child does happen to walk in on you. For this will only convey the false message that sex is dirty and wrong. For this could be a good time to tell them how babies are made. Therefore, you should step up and teach your children all things that pertain to this life before they learn it the hard way. So, as already said before: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 KJV)

“Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.” (Proverbs 16:18-19 NKJV)

Now, I know that this section may not set well with most of you out there. But do you really believe that a child will become a better person if they get involved in competitive sports? And if so, in what way? For don’t children (just like adults) play to beat their opponent in order to show that they’re better than them? Yes of course. So, couldn’t this cause some to be prideful and arrogant? For that passage above said that: “Pride goes before destruction. And a haughty spirit before a fall.” So, is this really what you want for you and your children? Something to think about my fellow Christians.

So, wouldn’t it be better to train children in something that’s going to make them more fruitful and productive? Because if you don’t teach them the right way to go you may surely regret it later. I say this because I witnessed the suffering that a Christian family went through after their son got injured while playing High School football. And because of his suffering, he eventually took his own life. And not only that, but I witnessed the devastation that it can cause on the rest of the family as well.

Therefore, train your children in some kind of skill or trade that is going to be a blessing not only to them, but to others as well? For I can remember as a child (maybe around seven or eight years old) that I received a lab kit that not only contained a working microscope, but chemicals, scalpels and a dead frog in some liquid. And sure enough, as an adult I landed a job working in a laboratory analyzing diseases using a microscope and other lab equipment.

• 7 middle and high school football deaths in a month
• Experts Alarmed Over 13 High School Football Deaths This Season 
• We Had No Idea This Many Kids Have Died Playing High School Football This Year 

So, brothers and sisters in Christ. Let’s dare to stand on God’s word instead of the false teachings we see happening in our world today. For we should be using God given wisdom and discernment in everything we do. And this would especially be true when it comes to raising children. Therefore, as said before: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 KJV)

• Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. (Genesis 18:18-19 KJV)
• “Only take heed, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things which your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children's children - how on the day that you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, the LORD said to me, ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children so.’ And you came near and stood at the foot of the mountain, while the mountain burned with fire to the heart of heaven, wrapped in darkness, cloud, and gloom.” (Deuteronomy 4:9-11 RSV)
• “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9 NASB95)
• “Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.” (Psalm 78:1-8 ESV)
• And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 NKJV)

Bible versions that were abbreviated in this article are clearly listed below. This I did to help you in your study of God’s word.

• KJV = King James Version
• ESV = English Standard Version
• CSB = Christian Standard Bible
• NKJV = New King James Version
• CEV = Contemporary English Version
• RSV = Revised Standard Versi
• NASB95 = New American Standard Bible, 1995 edition 

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